I’m learning so much these days. First, I found out that bitch is the new black. Now it seems that the Middle East is the new hood. 50 Cent: Bulletproof came out just over two years ago and dazzled…well, no one. Somehow, though, it sold enough units to warrant both a sequel and my deep concern over how 18 to 25 year olds in this country spend their money. Get ready for 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. Oh, and in case you were wondering, this is why the terrorists hate us.

The plot, as you might expect, is shallow and contrived. Long story short: Fifty and his associates do a concert in some war-torn Middle East locale and get stiffed on payment by the promoter. 50 then threatens him with what I’m sure is some slurred physical threat. The promoter offers him a diamond skull as payment, which is then stolen and must be retrieved by 50 Cent and his crew.

Despite the fact that this game was made for one reason and it rhymes with plevenue, I’ll make a slight concession: the screenshots look great. There are, however, a lot of games out there that look great and take full advantage of the technology but are nearly unplayable or terribly unentertaining. I will reserve my official judgment for when I see some video of this bad idea in action, but right now the forecast is bleak. Here’s the executive summary why:

1. 50 Cent makes music, not war
2. Something about a man, regardless of his other occupation, firing an automatic weapon at a helicopter from the sand in baggy jeans, a doo rag and a Yankees fitted cap does not scream authenticity
3. The first game was terrible
4. Last but not least, 50 Cent will put his name on anything. I cannot imagine a product or service he would not endorse.

Don’t get me wrong, while I wouldn’t be alone, I’m not a Fiddy-hater. I was actually pleasantly surprised by Get Rich or Die Tryin’ and when the mood strikes me, I do enjoy his music. It’s just getting a bit ridiculous. His original mission statement was to get rich or die trying. He almost died and is now rich, I just don’t get the feeling that he’s actually trying anymore. I mean, Blood on the Sand? Really?

Now if it was called ‘50 Cent: This Was My Accountant’s Idea’ or ‘50 Cent: What Do You Expect, Ferraris Don’t Pay For Themselves’ I could respect his candor and consider renting it. As it stands now: highly unlikely.

Source: Joystiq

Filed under: Video Games — Roy @ 1:19 am